This may surprise you (no, not you mom). I’m not the neatest person on the planet. Not even slightly. At least I have a little monster to blame for it now. It’s like The Tipping Point: if you leave the spray paint on the subway cars instead of cleaning it immediately, the spray paint & crime will only get worse. If you leave one toy out, all one cajillion of them will find their way out of their hiding place and take over your living room. Your kitchen. Your bedroom! Your basement (oooh, update on my Monica Basement coming very soon!). They might even commit a crime while you’re sleeping if they are super creative.
While my mom was visiting last week, she asked me if I had a schedule for doing laundry now that I have a mess making machine living with us (note: she also DID MY LAUNDRY and FOLDED IT while she was here. The woman is a saint.). I couldn’t answer the question well. Maybe she was hinting that there was a funky smell downstairs because I can’t seem to ever remember to actually move towels from the washer to the dryer – maaaaaaaaybe it’s because I don’t have a schedule and exhaustedly wander down there and chuck some towels in hoping I’ll remember to get them this time? Then I realized I have no system for keeping the house tidy between bigger cleaning fests and sometimes feel conquered by the plastic toys (especially that creepy dog above who tells me he loves me when I kick it’s foot by accident at night) and blueberry puree stained washcloths.
So it made me laugh to dream up my thoughts on the matter. Here is my new housekeeping routine:
- Attempt to change screaming, wiggly, wild baby’s diaper. Barely get it on without losing an eye.
- Perform wrestling match doing what was formerly called nursing wild baby.
- Lay wild baby down in crib.
- Turn on glo-seahorse.
- Soothe wild baby and say “see you in a little while to play!”
- Chant three times “this nap will happen.”
- Sneak out of room listening to mayhem.
- Check monitor to make sure the glo-seahorse is not poisoning wild baby. It sure sounds like it.
- Relax for a minute. Wild baby is asleep. Collect towels and head down to the basement to start laundry*.
- Real quick: just need to check Facebook. Oh, I wanted to read that blog entry too. Oh yea! I need to emai…Crap. Wild baby awake.
- Collect wild baby from crib and play.
*exchange basement with kitchen, office, garage, bedroom, bathroom and various tasks that would mean cleaning for each said space and you get the picture.
Tell me I’m not alone. Tell me we can all band together and just not care about those little things? But please do let me know if my towels are smelling funky. Ok?